Someone says they don't want to be with you. Sometimes they realize they've made the biggest mistake of their lives. And then sometimes they don't. Either way, your only job is to move on with your life and fast. They can always try to chase you down as you're running down the block.
I know all about the whole terrible situation in loving someone and being with them and knowing their family and friends and every inch of their body and seeing them naked everyday and never having felt this way before and feeling like your whole life has changed for the better and compiling hours and days and weeks of happy memories and thinking you'll spend the rest of eternity together and then finding out in fact they're not sure if they even want to see you tomorrow.
And so is it so wrong to wait around looking for a glimmer, a ray, a sign of hope from them that perhaps they have had second thoughts about it? That perhaps they have come to their senses and realized that you were the best thing that ever happened to them? Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong to continue to talk to them, see them, go to dinner with them, email each other? Is it so wrong to handle a breakup in a classy, mature, loving manner where you keep in contact and remain friendly and perhaps hang out on occasion? And would it be so terrible if perhaps the by-product of that classy, mature behavior is that they come to their senses and realize you were the best thing that ever happened to them? Would that be so terrible?
I mean, it sounds like a smart, scrappy plan that shows a fine combination of wile and maturity. I can't believe that in the history of mankind and breakups, it has never ever worked. What's wrong with you people?
Breakups, rumor has it, are supposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching ...
The relationship is over. Some people I know have moved after a huge breakup and frankly, that makes perfect sense to me. Again, for the most part, we kind of know this; you're not supposed to sleep with the person that broke your heart just last week. But what are you supposed to do instead? How are you supposed to fill up your time if you're not going to try and win them back?
Listen, I'm all for the "being friends" after a break up ... but that's a while down the road. I am fortunate enough to have kept friendships with a few exes, but not the day after. It takes time for wounds to heal and you have to NOTHING before you can have something.
So seriously, cry, stay in bed. Go to the gym. Call your friends and burden them with your misery. Figure your issues out. Sleep to much. Cry some more. See your therapist. Get a puppy. Do whatever you have to do so that you can eventually move on, and you will. After that, then maybe there could be a friendship.
